“It’s okay to say no. You don’t have to be everything to everyone, even if it’s a good idea.” 🙅🏾♀️ Denise Duffield Thomas
Sometimes the most important thing you can say is the hardest. (#437)
Most of us are building our dreams in the margins:
the 7 minutes before your next meeting
that hour after everyone finally goes to bed
the tiny pockets between caregiving, work, and life
And when life is already full, every yes comes with a cost. Even the good ones:
Say yes to someone else’s request? → might be a no to your side hustle time.
Say yes to the “quick” meeting? → might be a no to rest.
Say yes because you don’t want to disappoint? → might be a no to your peace.
We do it out of habit. Out of guilt.
Out of “I should be able to do more.”
Out of wanting to be the dependable one. (hiiii, my fellow recovering people pleasers 👋🏾)
But when your margins are already so small, your no’s matter even more.
N is for (Saying) No 🙅🏾♀️✨
(the tiny boundary that lets you breathe again)
Saying no to some things is the only way to say yes to what actually matters.
Here’s what saying no can look like in real, everyday life:
1️⃣ When your plate is already full:
“I don’t have the capacity for this right now.”
A gentle truth. No apology or explanation needed.
2️⃣ When you want to be helpful without over-giving:
“I can’t take this on, but here’s another option that might help.”
You can be supportive without carrying everything.
3️⃣ When you said yes too quickly:
“I need to step back. I thought I had more space than I actually do.”
It’s okay to change your mind when circumstances change.
4️⃣ When you’re protecting your peace:
“I’m prioritizing rest right now, so I’m going to pass.”
These no’s protect your sleep, your creativity, your hope, your margins.
They whisper: “I matter too.”
—
And about that guilt…
A caregiver I follow once said:
In every situation, someone is going to feel discomfort.
It doesn’t always have to be you.
Read that last line again.
She also said:
We teach people how to treat us. If we don’t practice the small boundaries, we won’t feel capable of the big ones.
So if guilt comes up for you? Offer yourself grace.
You’re not letting people down by having limits.
You’re just being human. A human with a full, beautiful, demanding life.
And remember:
You can’t pour from an empty cup.
And you definitely can’t side hustle from an overwhelmed brain.
Saying no isn’t selfish.
Saying no is how you stay steady.
Saying no is how you keep going.
—
💬 Over to you: What’s one thing you can say no to this week so you can say yes to yourself?
On to the picks!
Note: This email may contain affiliate links. If you click through my link and make a purchase, I may receive “thank you money” at no additional cost to you. I only recommend products that I use and love.
#picks 😍
one boundary, many ways to say it.
If you’re practicing your “no” muscle this week, these are worth bookmarking:
🙅🏾♀️. Say no to anything that doesn’t align with your purpose. Not every invitation is meant for you.
📘. 10 tips for saying no: Sarah Knight’s boundary-setting wisdom (simple + doable)
💬. Scripts for tricky conversations: Need to back out? Set a limit? These give you the exact words.
⏳. Time boundaries to get your hours back: small shifts that create some breathing room.
🧠. “Can I pick your brain?” script: Alex Hillman’s magic email that protects your time and feels supportive.
#icymi
😍. Last issue’s top pick: Goodbye 2025, Hello 2026 - Your Guide to Designing A Life You Love in 2026
💌. Pocket Pep Talk. Feeling stuck? I’ll send you clarity (and a little pep) in 24 hours.
#classifieds 🗞
🎨 What if your art was your protest? The Art of Resistance podcast uncovers how creatives turned music, writing, & design into power. A reminder: you can build in your own way.
💌 Say no to overthinking your sales emails. These 15 templates help you write faster, sell easier, and keep your energy for what matters.
9️⃣. What if your next experiment was just $9 away? This bite-sized training shows you how to turn a simple idea into a paid offer. Fast. Fun. Low-pressure.
(like these? let’s partner up!)
#lifevibes
#supporters ☕️
Thank you, Kelly, Melinda, Tawanna, Gia, Lori, Ayana, Krista, Jessica, Annetta, Constance, Tunde, Jen, Michelle, Emile, Bex, Kim, Angela G., Lauren B., Chelsea, Amy, Ricky, Kirsten, Vin, Julie, Nicole, Hmza, Greg, Kristin, Kirstyn, Jess, Cheryl, Krysta, Adrena, Vidya, Kristyn, Danielle, Keyn, Terry, Vanessa, Meredith, Lauren, Meg, Maria J., Chivon, Kim, Luciano, Colie, Chasity, Laurie, Latienda, Collette, Anne, Kristen, Liz, Katherine, Monale, Betsy, Melissa, Lindsay, Jennifer, Kayla, Madison, Rae, Stephanie, Christine R., Christine M., Frances, Hannah, Chris, Brandy, Mea, Kristian, Maria K., Avery, Adam, Barbara, Shenee, Desiree, Lisa, Kandice, L’Oreal, and LaVerne for being #jesspicks supporters!! ❤️




I've just said 'no' to sharing the transport for son's DnD meet-up today. It would've cost me at least 90 minutes and some spoons I don't have spare - and I wanted to use that time to work instead. Husband has taken him and has to hang out in the city to also do pick up, which has basically cost him most of his Sunday and I'm trying not to feel too guilty about that.
Saying no to a few check in calls. With holidays and Inara bday need to pace myself and check in over next weeks